Perfect Pitch: Compliments

                                

The basis of building rapport with a client -- or with anyone, really -- is to connect with what that interests them most. And what interests them most (of course) is themselves. Compliments are verbal tools for connecting with that self-interest in a very compelling way. But there a certain amount of skill is still required.

Everyone likes compliments but people can also be suspicious of them, especially in a business setting. If a compliment seems insincere or generic it can do more harm than good. In particular, wealthy and successful people are always getting compliments. If they’re smart, they see right through them. Even if they’re not smart, they can still get bored with an endless stream of praise.

In order to be effective with your compliments, you’ll need to make sure they satisfy two related criteria. First, they should be original, and second, they should be delivered in a way that shows sincerity and good intentions. 

If you’re in the office of a corporate CEO on the top floor of a high rise building, making a compliment about the view won’t get you very far. Probably ninety percent of the people who walk into that office say something about the view. If you’re another one, it’s a missed opportunity. 

So challenge yourself to think of something a bit more original. What else can you think of besides the view? If you’ve done preparation for the meeting, you ought to know something about your customers and their companies. Where do they come from? Where did they go to school? Has there been any positive news recently about their company in the media? 

The internet is so vast that almost everybody and everything gets mentioned somewhere. Find a way of positively referring to something you’ve learned about your customer. Just make sure you do it an informal and casual way. It shouldn’t seem like you’ve stayed up all night studying websites for this. And it shouldn’t be delivered in a stiff, mechanical way.

Keep in mind also that a really good complement should be one that you can deliver with the right tone of voice and with just the right mix of genuineness and humor. Again, remember that powerful people are suspicious of complements just as much as they like them. If you show you’re knowledgeable and excited about an area of common interest, your compliment will be unique. Then it will be a good start toward building rapport.

Giving compliments can be the first step in building rapport. The second step is asking questions. That will be the topic of my next post.