Your Inner CEO: "How was your day?"

Everyone has daily rituals, and most people have specific rituals in their work. What’s the first work-related action you take every day? How many breaks do you take as the day goes on? Do you have idle time to contend with, or do you barely have enough time to finish your assignments?

Both of these options are bad news. The first one places you in a lethargic holding pattern. The second is a ticket to emotional and physical burnout, probably sooner rather than later. So in the spirit of good career health and work-life balance, here are a couple of ideas for enhanced productivity.

First, learn not just to organize, but to accurately prioritize. Despite how it may seem in the moment, many “emergencies” don't matter in the long run. Technology has increased our sense of urgency. A FedEx letter cries out for more immediate attention than something sent bulk rate, but the delivery system can be out of proportion to the value of the content. You may be worried because you’re four minutes late for a meeting. But the meeting itself could be a waste of everybody's time.

Unless you take conscious control of the process, you'll tend to react to apparent urgency, even if it's relatively unimportant. What's even worse, you may miss what's genuinely important unless it also carries an obvious banner of urgency.

To avoid this, make a commitment to interrupt yourself several times a day. Stop what you're doing and ask yourself the following question: "Is this how I want or need to spend my time right now?" If the answer is "yes," go back to what you were doing. You will have affirmed your decision very consciously.

But there are also other possibilities. Maybe you’re doing something you need to do, but it doesn’t need to be done at this moment. So put it aside in favor of something that's more time sensitive. That way you'll avoid getting caught in deadline pressure later.

And if you neither want nor need to be doing something, now or ever -- just stop! It may surprise you, but if you stick with the "want/need" question for a few days, you really will catch yourself doing things you can't justify doing on any grounds, and you'll find yourself making changes to better serve your needs. 

A Kick In The Career: Worried About Worrying?

In business or social situations, how is it that some people make such a positive impression? What behaviors actually imprint a person on your memory in a highly positive way -- while there are other people whom you can’t forget soon enough? The answers are found in a small number of key social skills.

These are among the most important abilities a person can have. Human beings are social animals -- and a lack of social skills can lead to a lonely life. On the other hand, mastery of social skills can be of great help in every area of your life and career. And while these abilities are inborn in a certain percentage of people, they can also be learned.

The most important social skill is not about anything you do, but about how you feel. It’s just the capacity to relax in a social or business setting. Stress and anxiety are contagious. When you seem ill at ease, that feeling is transmitted to others around you. If you seem confident and composed, there’s a good chance you’ll encounter that same state of mind in everyone else.

In developing the ability to relax, the first step is identifying what might make you anxious or agitated. This varies from person to person -- but among people who really have a problem with interpersonal situations, there’s one anxiety that’s stands out above all others. It’s anxiety about anxiety. It’s nervousness about being nervous. It’s worry about worrying. It’s the fear of being found out as an anxious person -- which elevates the very behaviors you’re trying to hide.

If this self-confirming anxiety is a problem for you, here’s a suggestion: honesty is the best policy. Without overly dramatizing your feelings, just mention that you’re sometimes a bit uneasy meeting new people or speaking in public. Think about how you’ll do this beforehand. Injecting a little humor is always a good idea. The main point is to be out front about the issue, and thereby to defuse it. Rest assured that nobody is going to hold this against you. In fact, admitting these very human feelings is a great way to get people on your side.

Keep in mind also that certain actions act as triggers for anxiety, even though you may think they’re calming you down. Try not to do anything too quickly, whether it’s walking, talking, eating, or even sitting down in a chair. Rapid, jerky motions awaken a primitive fight-or-flight syndrome that’s the last thing you want. So take your time. Sub-vocally, tell yourself to relax. You’ll be surprised at the heightened level of confidence you feel, and the positive effect it has on people around you. 

A Kick in the Career: In one box and out the other

Needless to say, virtually everyone hates cold calling – and the preferred alternative has become introduction by email. I’m not at all convinced that’s a positive development but, as the old saying goes, “you can’t fight city hall.” So if you’re going to drum up business using email, you at least ought to do it right.

Most introductory emails contain a traditional three-part sales pitch: the introduction, a mini-presentation about the product or service being offered, and a request for a response. The trouble is, that instantly tells recipients that the email’s objective is to attain your goals rather than theirs.

But focusing on your needs instead of the buyer’s is likely to be counterproductive. So if you're still using email to connect with new prospects, watch out for these pitfalls:

First, avoid obvious sales pitches. Make your message about issues and problems that you believe your prospects are having, but don't say anything to indicate that you're assuming that both of you are a match.

Second, remove your company name from the subject line. Don’t create the impression that you can't wait to give a presentation about your products and services. Your subject line should refer to concerns that you can help they buyer solve.

Third, stop teaching your prospects how to hide behind email. When you rely on email, it's easy for buyers to avoid you by not responding. Also, they get used to never picking up the phone and talking with you. They may be afraid to show any interest because they think you'll try to close them. This creates sales pressure, which is the basis so many woes.

Fourth, avoid using "I" at the start of your message. Starting an e-mail with "I" gives the impression that you care mainly about selling your product or service. What you need to do is open a conversation. So use collaborative rather than individual phrasings. If you can use the language of a natural conversation, your buyer won’t stereotype your message as a spam solicitation.

Finally, see if you can, stop using e-mail selling almost altogether. You should think of e-mail as your last resort. If you can learn to pick up the phone without fear, start a trusting conversation with a gatekeeper, learn how to go beyond voice mail and reach the decision makers, you'll have a real breakthrough.

Your Inner CEO: Money!

Is money the root of all evil? No, but there is absolutely nothing like money to bring all our issues to the surface. Money and also the desire for money have brought a lot excitement into people’s lives -- often the kind of excitement they could have done without.

Money is the number one source of problems between husbands and wives. It can make trouble between friends, too, and it’s an ongoing issue between employers and employees. Who is giving? Who is getting? And what does that mean in terms of any relationship?

Money makes many people uncomfortable. Salary and income are some of the last things a people want to disclose about themselves. If they don’t make much money, they’re ashamed of it -- and if they make a lot of money, maybe they’re ashamed of that too.

So money and our relationship to it can be complicated and confusing. You need to sort this out, because money and how you handle it are some of the most visible expressions of your character and personality.

To get started with this, there is an essential paradox about money that has to be understood. On the one hand, money is inherently limited: t\en dollars is not twenty dollars. You can’t pay for a twenty thousand dollar car with a ten thousand dollar check. In that sense, the value of money is very clear and straightforward.

But at the same time, money is also inherently unlimited in its potential. Ten dollars may be ten dollars today, but it can be twenty dollars tomorrow, or even twenty thousand dollars. Or it can also be no dollars at all. In this sense, money is undefined. It is raw unmanifested energy. It can be used for virtually any purpose, for good or bad.

Money can be a medium of security, but also of insecurity. There are people with millions of dollars who are still worried about their financial security. Wealthy people have been known to commit suicide because they’ve lost half their fortune. A person could still have a huge net worth, but if it’s only half of what it was before, he feels threatened, he feels vulnerable, he just can’t go on. Yet he still has more money than the vast majority of the population.

The key point is that money in itself has no specific value. It has the value that we give it. Imagine a wealthy financier pulling up at a toll booth in his Bentley. He tosses his fifty cents toll, but accidentally over shoots the bucket with his quarters. No problem, he just throws in some more loose change. Retrieving the fifty cents is not worth his time and effort.

But if a homeless person comes along and finds the fifty cents, that’s a major windfall. For one person, any given amount of money may be meaningless, but to another person it may be all they have. How you perceive money determines its worth. You actually decide the value of money.

If you don’t understand this, you can get you into serious trouble about money. But once you do understand it, you can make money your servant rather than your tyrannical master. 

Your Inner CEO: "I put a spell on me."

Thinking in new ways about yourself is a powerful tool for building self confidence. The same tool can be applied to how you think about other people. When you look around, you may think see nothing but super-confident, totally fearless individuals. 

But you can be certain that those same people have had plenty of uncertain moments. You just don’t see them right now. And don’t assume that everyone else can see your own stresses and anxieties. That’s what psychologists call “magical thinking.”

Magical thinking has nothing to do with reality, and it’s a major barrier to becoming the kind of person you want to be. So don't let yourself make magical statements about yourself or other people. 

If you feel this starting to happen, calmly say to yourself, "Hold on a minute, how do I know that's true?" If you can come up with some evidence that disproves the magical statement, that's even better. It may take a bit of effort at first, but the impact on your self-confidence will be huge.

True confidence isn't just about thinking well of yourself. It’s also about not thinking badly about yourself or anyone else. Stop thinking "Why did that happen?" or "Why do I feel this way?" and start thinking "How would I like to feel?" or "When do I feel confident?" or, "What can I do now to feel better in this situation?"

Stick with it and don't expect everything at once. Building self- confidence is a process -- and if it seems like a very long process from where you are now, that just proves how important it is to get underway.

Perfect Pitch: Think Positive!

Many people -- even the most financially successful -- carry around a mental suitcase full of negative messages about themselves. I was one of those people for many years. Are you another? The self-destructive thinking may have originated with parents, teachers, bosses, colleagues, or even our own imaginations. But that doesn't really matter. The important thing is, we always have the capacity to reframe those ideas and make positive beliefs a conscious choice.

Sometimes we get positive pictures of ourselves from others. Hold on to them! Don't hesitate to start a folder or notebook to collect acknowledgments, thank-you notes, good reviews, positive evaluations, and other tangible evidence of your abilities. As you’re compiling these positive messages, also take time to identify negative beliefs that can be undermining your sense of self.

Here’s a suggestion. Write down four self-criticisms or negative beliefs that may be affecting you. Then adjust those negatives to reflect a more positive, accepting view of yourself or the situation. Support your new, positive view with specific evidence.

For example, you may have a negative belief that you’re a disorganized person. Actually, you may be very organized. You just have an awful lot to do. So you might write something like this: “Last week, in addition to my other responsibilities, I planned a new software implementation. I ran a meeting, revised 12 documents, and made 53 calls. It takes plenty of organization to coordinate all that!”

As Debra Benton wrote in her book Lions Don't Need To Roar, "Life is a series of relationships, and business is a series of relationships with money attached." In business, and in life, we are constantly challenged to work with and through other people. But it can be very difficult to work with others when negative opinions of yourself get in the way.

Perfect Pitch: Getting Commitment

The objective of any conversation with a client is always to obtain a commitment of some kind. It might be a commitment to sign a contract or place an order, or perhaps it’s just to have another conversation. But all commitments are like punctuation points that organize a business relationship and help it to go forward. Your job is to get those commitments and to understand what they mean and what they don’t mean.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of business conversations don’t include any discussion of commitment whatsoever. This is an amazing fact. It’s also amazing how much more effectively time could be used if requesting commitment was a conscious objective from the start.

Remember: commitment doesn’t mean only asking for an order. It’s much broader than that. It can be asking for the next meeting, or setting a time for the next phone call or emailed document. Commitment is simply moving the conversation forward.  Conversely, refusal to give commitment – or failure to ask for it -- is a signal that the relationship is not getting the care that it needs.

"You seem pleased. Can we agree to take the next step?” or “Can I have your commitment that you will support me in taking this to next level of buying authority?” Why do people have difficulty getting words like that out of their mouths? Sometimes it’s fear of rejection. Sometimes they don’t want to seem pushy.

Whatever the reason, asking for commitment seems to be a tough challenge for many people in business. But getting it done is one of the clearest markers of a professional – and it doesn’t happen by itself.

Commitment questions demand insight and preparation. You need to determine what commitments can be expected in every conversation. At what points will the commitments be asked for? How many commitments will be needed before the relationship can be formalized?

Preparation of commitment questions is a key element of every contact, and every contact should have its own plan. Without this preparation, commitment questions will be neglected and commitments won’t be attained. Instead, you’ll be giving up control of the conversation. At best, this will confuse the relationship. At worst, it will bring it to a halt.

Perfect Pitch: Time Is Money...or it ought to be

As we all know, “time is money” in business. You can’t afford to expend effort on people who aren’t in a position to buy your product or service – in other words, on buyers who aren’t qualified. Conversely, once you determine that you’re really talking to the person who can write you a check, you should feel justified in making the maximum effort to sell that individual.

The ability to tell qualified prospects from unqualified ones is a key skill, but it’s not complicated. It’s just a matter of getting information, and the way to get qualifying information is by asking pertinent questions.

Sometimes people are cautious about asking those questions, but that hesitation is misplaced. Asking questions won’t alienate potential clients. They understand the purpose of the conversation. They know it isn’t just a social call. Prospects may even encourage you to ask qualifying questions as a way of getting get down to business.

Or instance, if you need assurance that you’re talking to the true decision maker, a professional way of inquiring about this would be to ask, “Will you be the signatory on the contract?”  

Are you concerned about potential legal issues? Ask, “What is the legal approval process on contracts at your company?” 

Naturally you want to be certain that there’s enough money available for the purchase, so you might ask. “What are your current costs for this service and what is your budget?” 

Is there really a good fit between you and the buyer? Here’s the right qualifying question: “From what I’ve described so far, do you feel our service will meet or exceed your requirements?” 

The time frame is also important. The question would be, “On what date do you want to have a contract signed?”

Once you’ve established a basic level of rapport, you should freely and frankly ask questions like these. That way, neither you nor your potential client will be investing time in something with limited potential benefit. It’s a process of both you and the client qualifying one another. That’s a great way to save time and to make money.

Perfect Pitch: Confidence Man vs Confident Man

An overly confident person and a someone with low confidence have surprising similarities. Both have unconscious belief systems that need to be questioned and re-evaluated. So let’s look at some techniques for restoring balance.

Suppose you need to start using a new spreadsheet program that’s you’re totally unfamiliar with. It seems like an alien and intimidating task. Before you get started with the new program, do this. Think back to when you did something else new for the first time. Preferably, this should be something that seemed at least as intimidating as what you’re facing now.

What about the first time you rode a bicycle? The whole idea of it seemed to contradict the laws of gravity. How would you ever be able to balance on those two thin wheels? Maybe you did fall over a few times, but once you learned how to do it, riding a bicycle seemed perfectly natural. It seemed to happen by itself, without your even thinking about it.

Driving a car is another good example. This is actually an amazingly complex set of behaviors. There’s some genuine danger involved, and the skills of safe driving can take time to develop. Besides using your hands and your feet, you need to keep checking the mirrors every few seconds. You have to know who’s in front of you and behind you, and you also have to be aware of the blind spots that can be especially dangerous. 

But most people learn how to do it. If you drive a car today, the chances are you’re neither frightened out of your wits or totally oblivious of the risks. Driving is something you learned how to do -- both the physical actions and the mental requirements. Yet there was a time when driving must have seemed hugely intimidating, just like the spreadsheet program does now.

Certain situations can bring anxiety and stress. This is perfectly normal. But remember that the anxiety is only about what you’re doing now. It's not what you are at the deepest level of your being. Think about all the things you accomplished over the years. You’re learning now just as you learned then. You learned to do those things, and you will learn this. You can be completely confident about that.

 Here’s another good way to deal with intimidating situations. Attack just one part of it and achieve success. Instead of trying to deal with the whole the issue immediately, warm up by doing something less intimidating that will allow you to achieve success. It can be a task you’ve put off, like making a tough decision and acting on it. Taking small steps -- getting “on a roll” -- will put you into a 'flow' state where you forget about everything else. Afterwards, you’ll feel more competent, more capable, and definitely more confident. 

Remember this key point about confidence. It’s not a matter of feeling no doubts about yourself, which is grandiose thinking. It’s not being paralyzed by hesitation, which is an effect of low self-esteem. People on both extremes are convinced that they’re either totally great or completely incompetent. If you’re buying into that all or nothing thinking, you're wrong either way. As some once said, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." Words of wisdom.