Monday, June 29, 2015

Prison Break! But where's Morgan Freeman?



As everyone knows, several weeks ago two convicted murderers escaped from a maximum security prison in a godforsaken area of upstate New York. After a manhunt involving more than 1000 cops, one of the escapees was recently shot and killed and the other was captured a few days later. 

This was a big news story. Prison escapes have always been fascinating, whether in fiction or in real life. And this escape was definitely worthy of "The Count of Monte Cristo." It involved almost unbelievable feats of planning, cutting, climbing, crawling, and tunneling over many months, or possibly years. 

The prisoners also seem to have talked some prison workers into helping them: a woman, whose husband they promised to kill once they got out; and a male guard, apparently an art lover, whom they bribed with paintings and drawings created by one of the cons. (And they're not bad!) 

Certain features of the escape -- the planning over long periods of time, for instance -- have inspired comparisons with "The Shawshank Redemption," the 1994 film adaption of a Stephen King short novel, starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. Although the film was not initially a commercial success, it was nominated for multiple Academy Awards (but didn't win) and has since gained great popularity. 

In fact, surveys have revealed that millions of people consider "The Shawshank Redemption" to be one of the greatest movies ever made. Ask anyone about it and they'll tell you, "I love that film!"

I happen to agree that it's a very powerful story. It hooks into the conventional appeal of prison escape stories, but then adds a deeper dimension. 

We're all in prison, sort of, aren't we? We're all stuck doing repetitive tasks that seem to have little benefit, at least not for us. But we've got to keep at it, because we're stuck with it, just like the characters in "The Shawshank Redemption" are stuck in the penitentiary.

So how do survive in that situation? What the film suggests, I believe, is the need for an escape plan, the more elaborate the better, concocted and executed over many years, or even over the course of a whole "life sentence."


But here's the twist. The plan itself is the escape. Whether or not you ever do get outside the walls, just having a plan can radically change your day-to-day experience. It's got to be an actual plan, however, not just a "dream." 

If you been in the exterminating business for fifteen years and you've got fifteen more to go, you can plan to become a hunting guide in Alaska some day. But if you've been in the exterminating business for fifteen years and you're five feet sour inches tall, you can plan to play in the National Basketball Association when you retire. That's just a dream -- and if you invest too much in a dream, it can turn into a nightmare. 

In "The Shawshank Redemption" film -- and in the New York prison break -- the escapes were actually "successful." The walls were breached. That may be too much to hope for in many cases, but you don't have to hope. You have to plan. If you need to hope for anything, just hope for the best. 

Monday, June 22, 2015

"WHO SAYS SO BESIDES YOU???"



When you meet with a potential new client, you of course want to make a good impression. You want to avoid bragging, but you also want “to put your best foot forward,” as the old saying goes. So you try to present yourself in a positive light. You might even brag a little, and there’s nothing wrong with that, provided you do it in a tasteful and tactically effective manner.

And while you’re bragging, what is your new client thinking? If you could know the answer to that question, your self-presentation could undoubtedly be even more effective. It’s hard to know what’s on in another person’s mind, particularly in a business conversation where people are likely to be somewhat on their guard. Fortunately, I can help with that. I can tell you right now what clients and customers are thinking while you’re trying to ignite their interest in your product or service.

They’re thinking, “Who says so besides you?” No matter how persuasive you are, no matter how great you seem to be, everybody wants to know, “Who says so besides you?”

The
referral is a very efficient and low key way of answering that question. Some might call it “name dropping,” but “referral” seems much more dignified. Call it what you will, it’s very effective when done correctly. In fact, it’s quite essential that you know how to use this tool correctly.

About ten minutes into your initial meeting -- after
some compliments have been exchanged, and some questions have been answered -- it’s time for this step. Just refer to someone your customer knows and respects as a professional, and indicate your connection with that person. That’s all it takes.

Yes, it’s best if you actually have some personal connection with your referral. But it could be your only connection is a book you’ve read by that individual, or an interview you’ve seen. You’re still showing an affinity with the person you name. Moreover, you’re creating a triangular bond with your customer, who is also interested in that prominent individual.

The referral is a good chance for you to show an insider’s knowledge of your profession or industry. In the real estate business, for example, everyone knows about Donald Trump. But there are many other powerful developers who aren’t media celebrities. By mentioning someone of that sort, you can show that you’re not just an outsider. Instead, you know who the real players are and you can refer to them in a knowledgeable way.

Sometimes this requires a little homework. Just before your meeting, you can leaf through a trade journal and find a story that you can bring up with your client. Just make sure that you explicitly mention the name of the individual who’s the subject of the article. You’ll be surprised by what a powerful association this creates in the mind of your listener.

My friend, you can even use me as a referral. Be my guest!


Monday, June 15, 2015

All the world's a stage...but is that a mocha-colored chip on your shoulder?



This has been a big story for a few days and it still has a way to go. 

Rachel Dolezal is a senior administrator with the NAACP in Spokane, WA. The NAACP, as many people know, is a long-established civil rights organization. Over the decades, it has had many white people as benefactors, and probably a number of white people on staff. 

Rachel Dolezal has been one of those white staffers, except she has identified herself -- perhaps on her application papers, and definitely in her hairstyle -- as black. Recently, however, her parents, who are white, stated that Rachel is also white, and therefore has been other than honest. It's worth noting that the parents have four adopted black children, so they're probably not racists. They just claim to be puzzled by their daughter's behavior, and are uncomfortable with it. 

As an aside, Rachel Dolezal has claimed to be the victim of several "hate crimes" in the form of letters and a noose seen hanging from a tree near her home. The police have found no basis for her claims, and have strongly suggested that she herself planted the evidence. 

There are several angles to this story that have generated interest. Is race something that we "choose"? Can we legitimately self-identify as black or white, just as it's become the consensus that people can self-identify their gender, as in the case of Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner? Is Rachel Dolezal guilty of "cultural appropriation" if she has as Afro haircut? Is she raising important societal questions, or is she merely a head case?

This story puts me in mind of something I learned during my experience as an actor and a standup comedian. Certain people -- and yes, this may be a pathology -- can't function, or connect, or communicate effectively unless there's an element of deception involved. 

From this perspective, an actor who evokes laughter and tears from an audience isn't a "phony" because he's playing a role. Instead, he's accomplishing something he couldn't do in his everyday identity precisely because he's using a false identity to accomplish it. But from a creative (and financial) standpoint, the important thing is that he gets it done. 

No one has said Rachel Dolezal is not effective in her work, which I imagine involves mostly fund raising and event planning. It's possible that presenting herself as a black person has made her more effective, and her organization has benefited. From a business perspective, if she chooses to identify as a black person, should she be allowed to go on doing so? I don't believe it's a crime. Can I go on saying I'm the Easter Bunny if it gets me clients? Even though I'm not really the Easter Bunny?

What do you think?

Here's a link for more on Rachel Dolezal:
http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/13/us/washington-rachel-dolezal-adopted-brother/

Monday, June 8, 2015

Perfect Pitch: Enter the Dragon (in three easy steps!)



In learning martial arts such as karate and judo, a basic technique is known as kata, the Japanese word for “form.” Kata involves the practice of a certain move or series of moves over many repetitions. Eventually the sequence becomes natural, an automatic reflex. The student has done it so many times that it happens all by itself. And an opponent is drawn into the sequence simply by the force of the student’s total familiarity with it.

You can put the principle of kata to good use in any encounter where persuasion is your goal. It’s just a matter of having a sequence of steps so clearly in your mind that they flow naturally and irresistibly. Your client or customer gladly follows along behind the force of your presentation.

So what is the very powerful kata you can use to become so persuasive? What technique can you employ to create connection, motivation, and action in the shortest possible time? The answer is an amazingly simple three-part formula.

First, tell a brief but emphatic personal story that describes a positive change in your life. It can be a transformation that took place over an extended period of time, or it may have happened suddenly as a result of some turning point event. You should relate this event with passion and energy. Ideally, you should almost re-live it. To the extent you’re able to do that, your listeners will live it with you. When you finish the story, the listeners should be energized, engaged, and eager to learn where you are now going to take them.

Part Two of the kata sequence takes much less time than the personal story, but because it’s so brief it should be very hard hitting. This is when you ask listeners to take a single, tangible, simple positive action – and that action should flow naturally from the personal story they’ve just heard.

If you need funds for a charitable endeavor, for instance, ask them to write a check – but ask them to do it writer then and there, and keep the focus on the physical action. In their own minds, let them make the connection between this action and your story. If you’ve told the story effectively, that’s exactly what they’ll do. Just keep it simple and clear. In the fewest possible words, ask for the positive action you want them to take.

Part Three of the kata may take even less time than Part Two. Now you’re inviting listeners to look through the other end of the telescope. The time for the third stage is short, but the focus is much broader. You’re showing your listeners the benefits they’ll gain by taken the action you’ve asked for. Ideally, you refer specifically to only one benefit – but it should be broad enough so that people see why it’s important and worthwhile.

For example, if in stage two you asked a group of students to sign up for a summer school course, in stage three you tell them that this will assure them of college admission. You don’t need to say anything more. In just a few words you paint the picture of a single major benefit that has very broad and positive implications.

That’s all there is to it. So use this three-part kata technique, practice it, and a Black Belt in persuasion will be yours.


Monday, June 1, 2015

Your Inner CEO -- Humblebragging: "You don't like me! You really don't like me!"



Are you familiar with the term “humblebrag?” You may not have heard or used the word very often, but you’ve certainly seen humblebragging in action – and it’s becoming more widespread all the time.

Here’s a good definition of humblebragging from an article in the online edition of The Independent, a British newspaper:

A humblebrag occurs when someone, possibly unconsciously, manages to show off about something while simultaneously couching it in terms of self-deprecation
.
In my opinion, we‘re living in a Golden Age of humblebragging and we’ve been there for some time. I believe this Golden Age began with Sally Field’s famous “you like me” Academy Award acceptance speech in 1985. Here’s a brief video clip of that iconic moment:

It’s quite perfect, isn’t it? A famous actress, at the greatest moment of her career, manages to capture the affection of millions of viewers by fronting vulnerability and insecurity. In fact, she’s actually bragging about that vulnerability and insecurity at the very moment that we (and she) know that she’s just won this big award. Yes, that was the birth of humblebragging in the modern age.

Even with the widespread use of humblebragging today, I was surprised to find the large amount of research that’s been done on the topic, even in serious academic journals. So here’s the bottom line on all that humblebragging research, which also surprised me: humblebragging doesn’t work.

Research shows that people see through humblebragging and regard it as insincere and manipulative. Yet humblebragging keeps growing. Not just at the Oscars telecast – although that is a very fertile field – but in all walks of life. Surely you’ve encountered it, and you may even have humblebragged yourself. I certainly have, and I sincerely regret it as one of my many flaws (that’s a humblebrag right there.)

Well, if humblebragging doesn’t work, but you still want to strut around the barnyard like a rooster without having to admit it, what are you supposed to do?

Here’s the solution. Get someone else to brag for you! Someone who will go into a meeting and say, “Pete would never tell you this, but he’s got an absolute genius for making huge amounts of money for anyone he works with.” Or, “Ashley doesn’t like to speak about this because she’s an ardent feminist who’s against the objectification of the female sex, but Ashley really is one of the most beautiful women in the world, if not THE most beautiful.”

I’m sure you can think of many other examples. Meanwhile, be alert for humblebragging in all its forms. Believe me, they’re out there!

And a paper from the Harvard Business School on the ineffectiveness of humblebragging:
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2597626&download=yes