"WHO SAYS SO BESIDES YOU???"

When you meet with a potential new client, you of course want to make a good impression. You want to avoid bragging, but you also want “to put your best foot forward,” as the old saying goes. So you try to present yourself in a positive light. You might even brag a little, and there’s nothing wrong with that, provided you do it in a tasteful and tactically effective manner.

And while you’re bragging, what is your new client thinking? If you could know the answer to that question, your self-presentation could undoubtedly be even more effective. It’s hard to know what’s on in another person’s mind, particularly in a business conversation where people are likely to be somewhat on their guard. Fortunately, I can help with that. I can tell you right now what clients and customers are thinking while you’re trying to ignite their interest in your product or service.

They’re thinking, “Who says so besides you?” No matter how persuasive you are, no matter how great you seem to be, everybody wants to know, “Who says so besides you?”

The referral is a very efficient and low key way of answering that question. Some might call it “name dropping,” but “referral” seems much more dignified. Call it what you will, it’s very effective when done correctly. In fact, it’s quite essential that you know how to use this tool correctly.

About ten minutes into your initial meeting -- after some compliments have been exchanged, and some questions have been answered -- it’s time for this step. Just refer to someone your customer knows and respects as a professional, and indicate your connection with that person. That’s all it takes.

Yes, it’s best if you actually have some personal connection with your referral. But it could be your only connection is a book you’ve read by that individual, or an interview you’ve seen. You’re still showing an affinity with the person you name. Moreover, you’re creating a triangular bond with your customer, who is also interested in that prominent individual.

The referral is a good chance for you to show an insider’s knowledge of your profession or industry. In the real estate business, for example, everyone knows about Donald Trump. But there are many other powerful developers who aren’t media celebrities. By mentioning someone of that sort, you can show that you’re not just an outsider. Instead, you know who the real players are and you can refer to them in a knowledgeable way.

Sometimes this requires a little homework. Just before your meeting, you can leaf through a trade journal and find a story that you can bring up with your client. Just make sure that you explicitly mention the name of the individual who’s the subject of the article. You’ll be surprised by what a powerful association this creates in the mind of your listener.

My friend, you can even use me as a referral. Be my guest!