A Kick In The Career: Speak Now Or Be On Hold Forever

I was waiting for the valet when my cell phone died. My wife said it served me right for trying to conduct business at approximately 9:45 in the evening. I countered with the fact that I had kept my phone off during our entire dinner just so we could have quality time together. I had not gotten back to the client who had called. Other people coming out of the restaurant, having curtailed their smoking for a couple of hours, were now reaching with twitching hands for a fresh American Spirit. Me? I need a nice shot of smart phone after the meal.

But, as I said, the phone died and I wasn’t thinking about how to turn this irritating circumstance into an opportunity. I was so focused on venting about the irritating circumstance that no room was left in my psyche for anything but my righteous (always futile) anger at technology. Worse still, I only express myself with the worst imaginable cliché: “If I had a nickel for every time I lost a call…”

The gentleman next to me overheard my lament, and chimed in. “It’s still worth the hassle. I couldn’t live without mine. I waited in line for hours for the new iPhone. I was the oldest guy there.”

The choices we make every second shape the direction of our lives, and I had a choice to make right then. Should I write this stranger off as an intrusive techno-geek who had just supplied me with yet another awkward public moment? Or should I engage with a fellow human being, realizing that we have more in common than it might appear?

Before I reveal the answer (which you have no doubt discovered for yourself already), here’s one caveat: trust your boundary barometer. There will be times when a stranger gives off an irritating or even toxic vibe. You will know who those are, and you will have enough sense to avoid them. Suffice to say this gentleman was not one of those people. In fact, he was just the opposite. He was a sincere, self-assured individual who was comfortable interacting with the world. He was ready to be part of the natural give-and-take. Luckily, I saw that opening.

I engaged him in conversation. I learned he worked in investment banking. We shared a few friendly exchanges, and in the course of the conversation I mentioned that my sister and I were preparing to launch a website devoted to providing tools for children with dyslexia. I wondered aloud if he knew anyone who might be willing to invest in it.

He said he might be, and he wanted to know more. If he felt it was the right fit, the figure he quoted me would allow us to fund the site for an entire two years.

Will this bear fruit? If it doesn’t, maybe my new friend and I will be able to help each other in a different way down the line.  But does the outcome even matter? I allowed myself to connect with a fellow human being, and we struck up a conversation. That in itself is enough to set the wheels of intention into motion.

So the next time someone abruptly (but nicely!) works their way into your conversation, take a moment to appraise the situation. Think about what bringing them into the dialogue might yield.  Stay open, stay ready. Sometimes you are your own best recruiter, and the opportunity could be in a lot of other places besides the other side of a mahogany desk.

Since I have already confessed to using a clichéd expression in this post, here comes another: you never know.  

A Kick In The Career: Three and a Half Ways to Cope With Your Email Onslaught

I get hundreds of emails a day, and only a few of them are non-business related. It’s simple enough to delete the ones from a friend with whom you just had dinner last night claiming that they are stuck in Budapest and need you to wire some cash. Also the offers from prospective Russian brides go right into the “Mark as Unread” folder. You could put them into spam, but you might want to save them for a day when you’re on the fence about the past twenty-five years of married life.

You can be sure the constant barrage of email is a serious issue when the Harvard Business Review publishes an eBook called Work Smarter, Rule Your Email. (  http://hbr.org/product/work-smarter-rule-your-email/an/11855E-KND-ENG )

Here are a few strategies for staying sane around the daily dose of digital deliveries.

1)   Switch off mail notification. Nothing turns you into a Pavlovian-brained tongue-wagger like hearing a little blip (or the theme from Shaft, if that’s what you use) every time a new message arrives. You feel compelled to click on every new blip immediately. It’s like the ad for the new Hot Wheels track you saw as a kid: it must be gotten NOW. Email is there for your convenience, not theirs. Get to it a few times a day as you see fit, and let the Devil take the rest. (Most of them hold the potential for opening up a tenth circle of hell anyway.)

2)   Take half a day and unsubscribe. First, try not to beat yourself up for having subscribed to the plethora of websites and newsletters that clutter up your inbox. How did they get so numerous? Maybe you foolishly donated to your friend’s Kickstarter campaign for his documentary on “Drywall Through the Ages” and unknowingly got on a list. Maybe you subscribed to a site back when you were considering becoming a Wiccan and that generated a ton of spam. Pore through the unwanted stuff and unsubscribe, unsubscribe, unsubscribe. Then watch the volume go down on the screen and in your brain.

3)   Pick up the phone. People are afraid to use the phone anymore. Everyone is so used to hiding behind the keyboard. So catch them off guard and say what you want to say. Get in, get out, nobody gets hurt. And nobody sends email. Of course, you will probably be sent to voicemail, but let’s not assume the worst.

3 ½) Create poetry. If you’re going to be a slave to email, why not make it as distinctive and flowery as you possibly can?  Remember: many great artists of our time have had their letters published as books. Why not you? Pick a few close associates to experiment with, and turn the stale business of business into a tome for the ages.

After all, which is more memorable? This:

“When your email arrived, the sun had slowly risen to inexorably burn off a layer of mist that had been clinging to the cars outside my window. I read your text with great anticipation, remembering the start I felt in my heart when you had previously suggested that we may dine together anon.”

Or this:

“Thanks, got it. Lunch tomorrow.”

May these three and a half tips enrich your email experience!

A Kick In The Career: Let’s Get This Trait!

A Forbes blog post lists “The 15 Most Important Traits in the Ideal Employee.” You can examine their criteria here:  http://www.forbes.com/sites/kensundheim/2013/04/02/15-traits-of-the-ideal-employee/. 

You may notice that most of the terminology seems to come right out of the buzzword playbook. Hence, I was inspired to make up my own, more fun list of a potential employee’s most valuable traits. Without further ado, here’s assessment of the eleven best qualities an employee can possess. Or, as I like to call it:

STERN’S ELEVEN

1.     A Sense of Humor: If I toss out a Seinfeld reference during an interview and am met with slack-jawed confusion, can I realistically wish such a dullard on any of my clients’ workplaces?

2.     Living in the Now: Business, like the whole cultural landscape, must change with the times. Wistful talk about how it was easier before emails and smartphones might fly with your curmudgeonly poker night peer group, but they do not reflect a desire to embrace the way things are. You will find most companies are not in the market for grumpy Luddites.

3.     Good Posture: You would be surprised how shoulder slumping in the body can be a red flag for slacking off on the job.

4.     Knows More Than Me: If you are confident enough not to worry about a smarty pants being out for your job, you will do well to hire someone who can run circles around you. If they know what is good for them, they’re going to make you look good every time.

5.     Gives Good Phone: A company’s first public impression is often made on the telephone. Ever made a call to a helpline and known in two seconds that the person answering would rather be doing laundry in prison than talking to you? Someone made a hiring mistake that will end up costing that company good will in the end.

6.     Part-Time Philosopher: You want someone who has considered the bigger issues in life. Why are we here? What does it all mean? How Justin Bieber became famous? An employee who’s capable of a little soul searching will show more empathy and insight when things get complicated.

7.     Capable of Shutting Up: Every workplace needs some psychological space in which ideas can grow. An employee who tries to fill up every one of those spaces with chatter will soon become the office Newman. (That’s a Seinfeld reference.)

8.     Good Table Manners: I don’t want to get a clear view of the lettuce being churned inside your mouth during our lunch. Your employer will not appreciate it, either.

9.     Cares About Family: I don’t know how the phrase “all business” ever got construed as a compliment. If you don’t tell me just a little bit about the influence of family on your life in our interview, I may write you off as either a heartless scoundrel or someone in the Witness Protection Program.

10.  Careful Dresser: If what I remember about meeting you is your traffic-cone orange sweater, it may mean any employer would also think you were trying too hard. Just saying.

11. Sports Fan: Okay, that’s just a personal preference. I wouldn’t really take any points off if you didn’t know who held the record for most assists in the NBA, but it might make our meeting go a little longer while we both look up stats on our smartphones.

There you have it. Whether it’s for me or Forbes magazine, work on putting your best foot forward so that it doesn’t end up in your mouth. 

A Kick In The Career: No Wonder There Are So Many Mirrors In The Boss’s Office

Inc. Magazine reports on a new study suggesting that a little narcissism can help you be a more effective leader and get ahead in the workplace. The link is:

(http://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/narcissists-make-better-leaders.html)

I, however, am far too amazing to comment upon this one way or another.

Just kidding.

Well, maybe not kidding, entirely.

I mean, I do have a darn successful recruiting business, and I didn’t get that by thinking I was a useless sack of cells. Also, I look really good. A powerful jaw line. A commanding presence. If I could hire myself, I certainly would.

But enough about me. What do you think about me? Because if we’re going to work together, I think we should establish a few things up front.

One: Me.

Two: Me.

Three: Me.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes, the Inc. article goes on to say that narcissism, in moderation, may be a good jumping off point for success. But the study’s leader, Emily Grijalva, points out that narcissists often alienate the people who helped them by continuing exploitative, arrogant behavior even after gaining power. In the long term, narcissists are “addicted to admiration.” They’re not good at maintaining a positive leadership position.

Oh.

So, listen, have I ever told you how much I value what you bring to my organization? Honestly, how could I do what I do without the talented and sought-after people I work to connect with the best possible jobs out there?

You guys are the best.

What am I, really? 

Just a regular, everyday guy doing whatever he can to help.

Nothing special here. No, sir.

I tell you, these studies they do certainly are enlightening…um, I mean, way off base.

Am I right?

Humbly,

Tom.

Snap Judgment: How Not To Be Wrong

It’s been said that the only thing that never changes in life is the presence of change itself. Sometimes change just happens “to you” but often – maybe more often than you want to admit – the changes in your life are the result of your own judgments and decisions. What’s more, those judgments and decisions aren’t getting any easier. Consider the following: 

• Americans today have to make more decisions than ever before.
Many of those “judgment calls” are minor, but just as many have lasting consequences.

• The large number of decisions we face means we often have to make them very quickly. “Snap judgments” are the norm.

• These judgments are both helped and hurt by the volume of information that’s constantly bombarding us. How much of that information should be trusted? How much should be avoided at all costs.

In her book entitled Make Your Own Luck: 12 Practical Steps to Taking Smarter Risks in Business. author Eileen Shapiro coined the phrase “predictive intelligence -- the ability to act correctly amid uncertainty in order to bring about a desired result.” A person with predictive intelligence is able to visualize the outcomes of various judgments. He or she can then make the judgment that causes  the most positive outcome to materialize.

 

Conversely – and this is very important – predictive intelligence is also the power to avoid making judgments that lead to negative outcomes, or even disaster.

 

Predictive intelligence is a very useful concept and there’s much to be said about it. Why are some people so good at seeing various outcomes while other people are terrible at it? How can Mister X make a correct judgment so quickly, while Mister Y dithers for days -- and still makes the wrong decision? Is it better to be cautious and analytical in your judgments, or instinctive and intuitive?

 

Yes, there’s a lot to think about! But here’s the good news. I may not be able to tell you how to always make the correct judgment – but right here and right now I will tell you how to avoid making the wrong judgment no matter how tough the decision is, and no matter how quickly it has to be made. Remember: predictive intelligence is also the power to avoid making judgments that lead to negative outcomes, or even disaster. Are you ready to acquire that power? Well, here it comes. First there’s an overriding principle, and then a very important corollary….

 

The overriding principle is this: If you feel a sudden and powerful surge of either positive or negative emotion in a decision-making situation – especially in a time-constrained “snap judgment situation – and you act upon that emotion, you will be making a mistake at least nine times out of ten. In fact, the more powerful that surge of euphoria or revulsion is, the greater the odds against you become. That’s predictive intelligence that you can take to the bank, and it’s a lot simpler than you might have imagined. And maybe I can put it even more simply: in a “snap judgment” situation, be very suspicious of extremely strong first impressions.

 

Of course, sometimes an extremely strong first impression will turn out to be correct. I didn’t say this principle is an infallible one; I just said it’s an “overriding” one. That’s why I like the corollary to the principle even better. The corollary really is infallible. This never fails. And it’s just a matter of changing a couple of simple words….

 

If you feel a sudden and powerful surge of anger in a decision-making situation – especially in a time-constrained “snap judgment situation – and you act upon that emotion, you will be making a mistake one hundred percent of the time.

 

That’s right – you should never allow anger to be the basis for your judgments. Never! It doesn’t matter whether you feel totally justified in your anger. It doesn’t even matter if you are totally justified. Take anger out of the equation. And if you’re just too angry to do that, then wait until you calm down. Because as urgent as the need for a “snap judgment” may seem, the negative effects of an angry decision will continue long after that urgency has passed.

 

Snap Judgment: Exuberance and Discouragement

Have you heard it said that “the early bird gets the worm”? That might be the case in your backyard, but it’s not true in the sales profession. In sales, “the late bird gets the worm.” That means you’re unlikely to make a deal if you’re the first salesperson a potential buyer encounters. You might have a truly outstanding proposal, but the customers just aren’t tired enough yet. They’ve still got the energy to focus on price, payment terms, free delivery, and anything else they can think of.

When you’re “the late bird,” however, you deal with people who have had enough shopping around. Their feet hurt, they’re hungry, and they’re thirsty. They might not want to admit it, but they just want to get it over with. When buyers reach that point, they find all sorts of reasons to justify their feelings. They feel drawn to you personally. They like your product or service. They deeply appreciate the deal you’re offering them, although they might have been extremely skeptical about that same deal when they were in their early bird phase.

In a strange way, these late bird have put themselves in a “snap judgment” situation – not because there’s any real time constraint, but because they just can’t take it anymore. They may tell themselves that they’re making a rational decision, but they’re actually driven by emotional and even physical stresses. They literally don’t know what they’re doing.

The economist Alan Greenspan has referred to this behavior as “irrational exuberance." It can sway the entire New York Stock Exchange or it can affect just one individual. It’s a kind of euphoria that can feel good at the time, but its real purpose is to simplify complicated situations. As a decision maker, the lesson for you is this: be careful about creating a “snap judgment” situation, and then further creating an emotional escape from it.

It’s hardly surprising, by the way, that irrational exuberance also has a flip side. Let’s call it “illogical discouragement.” It may come from fatigue, or a headache, or a bellyache, or a cellphone call from your mother-in-law, but every glass in the world suddenly looks half empty. I once had a client who was an extremely analytical personality. He was always demanding more information before he made even the smallest decision. But while he was busy gathering more information, many windows of opportunity were sliding shut. This person simply could not make a proactive, optimistic decision no matter how great the opportunity actually was. He was afflicted by what economists call “status quo bias” -- the tendency to keep things just as they are, even if things are pretty lousy. Hee-haw! He had turned into Eeyore.

The most important element of these surges of emotion is how convincing they can seem in decision-making situations. They can completely overwhelm your ability to make effective judgments.

Stress is inevitable in the contemporary world. Human beings have always had reasons to feel insecure, but things are different now. Not only has change sped up, but decisions are being made that will affect every person now alive and for many generations to come. Sometimes you are called upon to participate in those decisions through a political process, but even if you are not personally making decisions you are directly affected by living in the high stakes environment where they take place.  Nineteenth century farmers didn’t have to choose between nuclear power plants and burning coal, nor did they have to make judgments about paying for their children’s college.

Both irrational exuberance and illogical discouragement eventually transform into an extremely painful question:  “How could I have so stupid?” At that point, there’s an opportunity for some authentic self-assessment. There may also be a temptation toward a victim mentality and a sense of personal powerlessness. Victims tend to react as if they have no control over their circumstances or even their own emotional reactions, as if life is something that happens to them, rather than something they are co-creating.  Victim consciousness is a downward spiral, in contrast to the empowerment that results from taking responsibility for what you create in your life. And what you create, of course, is simply the sum total of all the decisions and judgments you make. Onward.

Your Inner CEO: Confidence, True or False?

Whether it’s a Fortune 100 company or your
own Inner Corporation, confidence and optimism
are the two most important qualities of a successful
executive or entrepreneur. Optimism deserves its
own blog, which I’ll be posting soon. Right now I
want to define confidence and show why it’s so
important. I also want to make a sharp distinction
between real confidence and self-aggrandizing
egotism. Don’t get those confused in other people
or in yourself.

You may have confidence or you may lack it – but either way, other people are going to agree with you. If you’re down on yourself, they probably will be too. When you project confidence and self-assurance, they’ll feel good about you. And always remember: people want to feel good about you. Confidence is just the ability to make that easy for them. It’s the power to let other people feel the same way about you that you feel about yourself.

Egotism is so often mistaken for genuine confidence. Confidence doesn’t mean that you’re going to succeed. It doesn’t even mean that you have succeeded in the past, as evidenced by your gold watch or your big car. Real confidence means acceptance of the fact that nothing is certain in life, with one exception: you are certain that you’ll do your best.

Confidence is also the ability to recognize your limitations without becoming preoccupied by them. Egotism, on the other hand, is an unrealistic inflation of who you are and what you can do. Egotistic people ignore the possibility of anything but success. So when setbacks occur, they’re taken by surprise and have a very hard time recovering.

One marker of confidence is reserve energy. It’s the ability to keep trying even when you’ve tried and failed. But another element of confidence is the power to see when it’s time to let go and try something else. Both those qualities are rare, and the second may be even more unusual than the first.

 Lots of people sing in the shower or even in self-produced YouTube videos, but only a few will sing for the Metropolitan Opera. Danger arises when the difference between the Met and the shower starts to blur. You might not think this happens very often, but people’s egos can be very powerful. Yes, it’s admirable to shoot a thousand free throws in the backyard in hopes of playing professional basketball --- but if you’re five feet six, be realistic. Know when to exchange impractical dreams for more feasible ones. That’s not the same as surrender. It’s just advancing in another direction. You can’t achieve an objective that you’ve never imagined. But you should also be accepting of the fact that not every single dream can be achieved.

It’s ironic that the thinking patterns of ego-driven people and those with low confidence are two sides of the same coin. Both are absolutely sure of themselves, but in opposite directions. Some people are sure they can do anything, others are sure they can do nothing. Real confidence isn’t a matter of knowing the future. It’s a matter of knowing yourself.

Your Inner CEO: The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Lack Of Fear Itself

The Discovery Channel website reported on a mind-altering parasite discovered in mice that makes them permanently fearless around cats.  I suspect that most of these crazy-brave rodents probably get eaten for their trouble. Just the same, the human spirit can’t help but be emboldened by the sight of a tiny little mouse starting down a creature ten times its size. It seems to contain in it everything we love about the pluck of the underdog, taking on impossible odds at potentially great risk. Sort of like when Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone go up against the bad guys, except the mice are a little smarter.

In any case, it was not difficult to begin extrapolating on how the power of this fright-busting parasite might be beneficial to humans.

Imagine conducting your career empowered by a substance that makes you fearless; ready to present yourself to any high-powered individual you can name without breaking a sweat.  No longer intimidated by the stature of your potential employer, no longer plagued by self-doubt or insecurity. With this newfound ability to take on all comers, you would be unstoppable. No career goal you could set would be out of your reach. Except perhaps figuring out your privacy settings on Facebook.

But consider this: all that potential is inside you already, and chances are you wouldn’t be able to access without having to stare down the terror in the first place. Indeed, it is the knowing that we found it in ourselves to push through the fear that gives us the rush of accomplishment. How could we experience that if all we knew was complete, unadulterated, artificially induced fearlessness? 

Learning from our mistakes, facing the inadequacies, growing with each new mustering of effective strategies and goal-setting…all of this happens in contrast to the parts of you that think it can’t be done. If all you are is a chemically altered courage machine, your mind wouldn’t know the difference between victory and toil. The euphoria of breaking through beyond the limits of your achievements would be meaningless.  Not to mention, what fun would the world be if everyone took that pill? Work, and life, would go from the constant thrill of overcoming adversity to a Monster Truck challenge: all mechanical, programmed pushback. No heart and no real, authentic guts. (With apologies to all the brave Monster Truck drivers who are now picturing me crushed beneath an 11-and-a-half foot tall BF Goodrich.)

Fear is a necessary component to success. Use it. Evolve with and through it. Mark Twain did not live long enough to see how many things our species would attempt to artificially recreate, but he did leave us with some famous words that reveal what he might have thought about the possibility of manufacturing blind fearlessness in a laboratory: “Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”  

You can find the Discovery Channel story on the fearlessness parasite here.

http://jinxie-lewis.newsvine.com/_news/2013/10/03/20808455-parasite-brainwashes-mice-to-not-fear-cats-discovery-news

Perfect Pitch: vocal variables...

Almost everyone learns to write but not everyone becomes a published writer. Lots of people sing in the shower but few get a recording contract. We all spend lots of time talking but talking is not the same thing as being a trained public speaker.

So what really makes the difference between the amateurs and the pros in any human endeavor? And what can that difference teach you about optimizing your voice for Perfect Pitch?

Obviously some people just have more talent than others. But Perfect Pitch doesn’t depend on the kind of unique gifts needed for ballet or advanced mathematics. You don’t need to be a genius in any way. In fact, by far the most important requirement for using your voice effectively is wanting to do it. It’s just a matter of paying attention to something that most people ignore. You don’t have to be six feet ten or have an IQ of 258.

So the first prerequisite for Perfect Pitch is attention. Be attentive to what you’re doing with your voice, and to making your voice more effective. It’s easy, but it doesn’t happen by itself.

Once you decide to give your voice the attention it deserves, you should be aware of four variables that determine how it sounds:

Physical—as in all areas of life, people are born with different voice characteristics: high pitched voices and low ones, stronger and weaker, soft or abrasive. This is simply the raw material you will be working with.

Maturational—human voices sound differently at different stages of life. With age, the vocal cords don't vibrate as fast or as strongly as they used to. It’s just like a man losing his hair, but with one very significant difference. Most people aren’t aware of how their voice has changed. You can’t see it happening by looking in the mirror.

Healthful—Smoking and drinking will affect your voice just as they’ll affect your kidneys and your bladder. The difference is, other people don’t have to listen to your kidneys and your bladder. Sometimes people have a wheezing or breathy aspect to their voices from asthma or a similar disorder. There are even actors in Hollywood who have turned the sound of a “hard drinking” voice into a signature attribute. The point is, however, that this is not how nature intended them to sound. They got to sound like that on their own.

Cultural—This is probably the single strongest influence on how people use their voices. If you grew up in a family of twelve kids with everybody shouting at the dinner table, shouting will be your idea of a normal tone of voice. In fact, it will seem better than normal. It will bring you a sense of nostalgic security and well-being. But it will give other people a headache. You may wind up only shouting at yourself.

The fact that your voice has developed in a certain way doesn’t necessarily mean you should try to change it. There’s also no assurance that you could change it even if you did try. As in many areas of life, the important thing is to play the cards you’ve been dealt in the best possible way. As long as you know what you voice is really like, you can turn a “weakness” into a strength when you approach the challenge intelligently. Many very memorable voices aren’t textbook perfect. That’s why they’re memorable.

Perfect Pitch: What they hear is what you get...

Everyone knows that first impressions are important for all types of success. Whether you’re on a first date or applying for your dream job, the conventional wisdom says you’ve got about ten or fifteen seconds to win or lose. That’s how long it takes people to make up their minds about you. If their first reaction is negative, turning that around can be very difficult.

That’s the conventional wisdom, and it’s one instance where the conventional wisdom happens to be absolutely correct. You can do an online search and in just a few seconds you’ll find dozens of programs, websites, and blogs about how to make a good impression in those first ten or fifteen seconds. There’s information about how to dress, how to shake hands, how to smile, how to sit down, how to stand up, and lots more.

But what’s really surprising to me—in fact, I find it incredible—is the total absence of anything about your voice. If the first impression is so important, shouldn’t we pay attention to how we sound as well as how we look? If it’s true that sitting down the wrong way can make you seem like a country bumpkin, should you ignore the fact that your voice can have the same negative effect?

With that in mind, I believe there are only two ways to connect with a new acquaintance. It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman, or if you’re in a business setting or a social setting—you can connect intellectually or you can connect emotionally. Those are the only possibilities. You connect to the brain or you connect to the heart. Or you don’t connect at all. Case closed.

Now those two types of connection—intellectual and emotional—are not created equal. An intellectual connection can be very rewarding, but creating an emotional connection has far greater potential. How people feel about who you are is much more significant than what they think about anything you say. Furthermore, the single biggest factor in how people respond to you on an emotional level is nothing other than your own voice.

Why is that true? It’s because your voice has a very direct physical effect on your listeners. They can feel the vibration in a way that’s much more tangible than anything they see.

Consequently, what they feel can very quickly cause them to tune out or tune in. An irritating voice can literally stimulate a fight or flight response in another person.

And there’s much more your voice can do. Do you sound smart or not so smart? Are you educated or ignorant? Are you friendly or hostile? All these traits are instantly recognizable in your voice.

Here’s the bottom line. You should pay very close attention to how your voice affects other people, and you should do everything you can to make the most of that effect. The good news is, there’s a lot you can do. The even better news is, most of it is very simple once you commit yourself to the high level of voice competence that I call “Perfect Pitch.”