Resilience is the ability to rebound from a setback, or even from a disaster. But resilience doesn't mean ignoring painful feelings. It does mean not dwelling on them, or at least not dwelling on them forever. When bad things happen to good people -- and you're one of those, right? -- here are some things you can do toward strengthening your resilience:
§ Start laughing.
Finding humor in stressful situations doesn't mean you're in denial. Humor is a
great coping mechanism. But it doesn't always come easily. As Stephen King has written, "Stories about the things that can go wrong in life are really funny, until they're about you."
§
Learn from
experience. Think back on how you've coped with hardships in the
past. Build on skills and strategies that helped you, and don't repeat the ones that didn't help.
§
Take care of
yourself. Tend to your own needs and feelings, both physically and
emotionally.
§ Accept and
anticipate change. Expecting changes to occur makes it easier
to adapt to them, tolerate them and even welcome them.
§
Work toward a goal. Do
something every day that gives you a sense of accomplishment. Even small,
everyday goals are important. Having goals helps you look toward the future.
§
Take action.
Don't just wish your problems would go away or try to ignore them. Instead,
figure out what needs to be done, make a plan and take action.
§
Maintain
perspective. Look at your situation in the larger context of your own
life and of the world. Keep perspective and know that your
situation can improve if you actively work at it.
§
Practice stress
management and relaxation techniques. Yoga and meditation have become really popular for the simple reason that they do work.
§ Above all, stay hopeful. You can't change what's happened in the past, but you can always look toward the future. And expect good results. Remember: a pessimist is someone who says things can't get any worse, and an optimist is someone who says they definitely can. (Ha!)
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