Perfect Pitch: Resilience or Regret?

Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone reacts the same way. Basically, there are two categories of response: regret or resilience. They're polar opposites. Like light and darkness, they can’t coexist in the same time and place. So the choice is yours. So the choice is yours. How will you go forward after you've made a fool of yourself. What will you say? What will you do? Will you bounce back or fall apart? 

Resilience is simply the ability to rebound from a setback or challenge -- first in your thoughts and feelings, and then in you actions. Regret is the tendency to dwell on problems, feel victimized, become overwhelmed -- and then, possibly, to develop reactive behaviors such as substance abuse. 

Resilience isn't about living by old clichés like as "grin and bear it." It doesn't mean you ignore your feelings. When adversity strikes, you still experience anger, grief and pain, but you're able to go on with daily tasks, remain generally optimistic and go on with your life. Being resilient also doesn't mean being stoic or going it alone. In fact, being able to express yourself in reaching out to others is a key component of being resilient.

Resilience won't make your problems go away, but it can give you the ability to see past them. To strengthen your resilience, try out these ideas:

§  Get connected. Build strong, positive relationships with family and friends, who provide support and acceptance. Volunteer, get involved in your community, or join a faith or spiritual community.

§  Find meaning. Develop a sense of purpose for your life. Having something meaningful to focus on can help you share emotions, feel gratitude and experience an enhanced sense of well-being.

§  Start laughing. Finding humor in stressful situations doesn't mean you're in denial. Humor is a helpful coping mechanism. If you can't find any humor in a situation, turn to other sources for a laugh, such as a funny book or movie.

§  Learn from experience. Think back on how you've coped with hardships in the past. Build on skills and strategies that helped you through the rough times, and don't repeat those that didn't help.

§  Remain hopeful. You can't change what's happened in the past, but you can always look toward the future. Find something in each day that signals a change for the better. Expect good results.

§  Take care of yourself. Tend to your own needs and feelings, both physically and emotionally. This includes participating in activities and hobbies you enjoy, exercising regularly, getting plenty of sleep and eating well.

§  Accept and anticipate change. Expecting changes to occur makes it easier to adapt to them, tolerate them and even welcome them. With practice, you can learn to be more flexible and not view change with as much anxiety.

§  Work toward a goal. Do something every day that gives you a sense of accomplishment. Even small, everyday goals are important. Having goals helps you look toward the future.

§  Take action. Don't just wish your problems would go away or try to ignore them. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a plan and take action.

§  Most importantly, maintain perspective. Look at your situation in the larger context of your own life and of the world. Keep a long-term view and know that your situation can improve if you actively work at it.