A Kick In The Career: Let Them Eat Turkey

We all know what to expect at Thanksgiving. A big meal, a round of gratitude for everyone gathered together again -- and a non-stop interrogation of why you’re not doing better in life.

Yes, it can happen around Turkey Day. It doesn’t matter how long you have been out on your own, or how well you have provided for yourself and others. If, in the eyes of your loved ones, you do not have enough to show for it, you could be in for an annual 4-day weekend of getting the stuffing beaten out of you. Metaphorically, of course.

Somehow at Thanksgiving everybody is primed to grill us on how well we’ve done since last Thanksgiving. And the problem is, there is always someone else who is doing better than you.  If you’re lucky, the successful person in question is not present. “Did you hear about your uncle Ted? Quit his job, went into real estate, he’s flipped sixteen houses in nine months. Making 400 grand a year!” But usually the uber-achiever is seated diagonally across the table from you -- so that, in front of everyone, your heart can be carved out along with the giblets.

“Jerry, tell Tom about your venture capital firm. He could use a little guidance since he took a third quarter loss last year….” 

So you sit there listening to your cousin take credit for some lucky break as if he orchestrated every beat of it! You don’t notice the mashed potato seeping through the clenched teeth your forced smile. Neither does Jerry, of course. All he cares about is bloviating enough to impress the family that’s rapidly losing all respect for you.

If you’re facing the gauntlet of familial judgment this Thanksgiving, remember that whatever anyone says, it reveals more about them than it does about you.

If you’re out of work, well, you won’t be for long. Because you’re industrious and talented and the right position is out there waiting for you.

If you’re employed, and happy, who cares whether or not your work fits into someone else’s paradigm of success? 

Or maybe you’re unhappy in your present situation and you’re letting the opinions of your family members tweak your own insecurities. If that’s the case, well, I hope they’re serving wine, because you’ll need it. (What kind of wine goes with turkey? I should Google that.)

Actually, it is perfectly natural to feed into your family’s dysfunctional expectations about success. And if you’re dissatisfied with where you are, use the holiday tension to motivate you to new heights. There’s nothing like anger and revenge to inspire a step up the ladder. Of course, it will never be enough to please them, but let’s not think about that now.

For the moment, focus on the things that bind you to your family, and the love that has held you together long enough to want to make sure you’re together at Thanksgiving time.

But don’t even think about showing up single this year….