Monday, August 25, 2014

Perfect Pitch: They Like You! They Really, Really Like You!



A recent Wall Street Journal blog gives us another thing to be paranoid about as we try to stand out in the workplace. With the proliferation of social media interactions and videoconferencing (a strategy that is going to grow 47 percent a year for the next three years, according to the WSJ), likeability is becoming a huge factor in who does well at work and who generates the most revenue for their company.

Oh, great. So now it isn’t enough that we are strong performers and get the job done. Now everybody has to like us? What sort of cruel trick is the universe playing? I thought all we had to do was get results, even if it meant being a bit unlikable in the process. Dang. I was just getting comfortable swimming with sharks. Now I have to bike with Barney.

At least we have another thing to blame computers for. Before there was email with emoticons to indicate when we are only joking (after ripping somebody a new one), and social networking with one’s phalanx of “friends” -- before all that it was important to be nice back then, too. But making sure the whole room likes you, well, that seems pretty 21st Century. 

But, fear not. The WSJ piece informs us that we can be taught how to be likable. An outfit called Decker Communications takes a variety of business clients through training sessions on increasing their likeability in the virtual world.

Here are some of the techniques they suggest for gaining an edge in your next Skype session:

Listen, and leave a gap for others to speak: Apparently, there is a tendency when video conferencing to adapt the rhythms of in-person conversation, wherein people sometimes get excited and talk over each other. In the world of video, this is known as interrupting.  Of course, completing your sentence and leaving a gap while waiting for a response is known as awkward silence.

Be genuine: Researchers say that the premier aspect of a person’s likeability is being comfortable with themselves. As Tim Sanders, author of The Likeability Factor explains, overacting is a common problem when people are placed in front of a camera. “It’s easy to go Ryan Seacrest,” he says. But wait: going all Ryan Seacrest has made Ryan Seacrest a multi-millionaire, and he makes it look pretty genuine.

Show interest and make eye contact: I may be old school, but on a video conference it seems we’re making eye contact with a tiny orb mounted on a computer screen. It will take me a while to start seeing that as looking another the person in the eye. But I’m willing to give it a try because, darn it, I want that sucker to like me.

Vary your tones and expressions: Again, the camera tends to create monotone. We have all seen this, not only in ourselves, but in our local news anchors. 

Mimic the expressions and posture of the person you are talking to. This technique creates empathy, according to researchers. I suspect it also creates the impression that the videoconference could break out into a Lucille Ball mirror routine at any moment.  But maybe that’s part of the fun.

Kidding aside, these are good tips to employ as we enter a new age of connectivity via our desktops and tablets. But can likeability be taught? Well, I’d like to think so….

Here’s a link to the WSJ piece:

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