Your Inner CEO: Learning To Like Yourself

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Jerry Lewis, in his great film The Nutty Professor, put it another way: "You might as well learn to like yourself, because you're going to be spending a lot of time with you."

Many of us -- even the most financially successful -- carry around a mental suitcase full of negative messages about ourselves. They may have originated with parents, teachers, bosses, colleagues, or even our own imaginations. But we always have the capacity to reframe those messages and make positive beliefs our conscious choice.

Sometimes we get positive pictures of ourselves from others. Hold on to them! You might want to start a folder or notebook to collect acknowledgments, thank-you notes, good reviews, positive evaluations, and other tangible evidence of your abilities. As you’re compiling these positive messages, also take time to identify negative beliefs that can be undermining your sense of self.

Here’s a suggestion. Write down four self-criticisms or negative beliefs that may be affecting you. Then adjust those negatives to reflect a more positive, accepting view of yourself or the situation. Support your new, positive view with specific evidence.

For example, you may have a negative belief that you’re a disorganized person. Actually, you may be very organized. You just have an awful lot to do.

So you might write something like this: “Last week, in addition to my other responsibilities, I planned a new software implementation. I ran a meeting, revised 12 documents, made 53 calls. It takes plenty of organization to coordinate all that!”

As Debra Benton wrote in her book Lions Don't Need To Roar, "Life is a series of relationships, and business is a series of relationships with money attached." In business, and in life, we are constantly challenged to work with and through other people. But it can be very difficult to work with others when your own negative opinions of yourself get in the way.