Perfect Pitch: What they hear is what you get...

Everyone knows that first impressions are important for all types of success. Whether you’re on a first date or applying for your dream job, the conventional wisdom says you’ve got about ten or fifteen seconds to win or lose. That’s how long it takes people to make up their minds about you. If their first reaction is negative, turning that around can be very difficult.

That’s the conventional wisdom, and it’s one instance where the conventional wisdom happens to be absolutely correct. You can do an online search and in just a few seconds you’ll find dozens of programs, websites, and blogs about how to make a good impression in those first ten or fifteen seconds. There’s information about how to dress, how to shake hands, how to smile, how to sit down, how to stand up, and lots more.

But what’s really surprising to me—in fact, I find it incredible—is the total absence of anything about your voice. If the first impression is so important, shouldn’t we pay attention to how we sound as well as how we look? If it’s true that sitting down the wrong way can make you seem like a country bumpkin, should you ignore the fact that your voice can have the same negative effect?

With that in mind, I believe there are only two ways to connect with a new acquaintance. It doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman, or if you’re in a business setting or a social setting—you can connect intellectually or you can connect emotionally. Those are the only possibilities. You connect to the brain or you connect to the heart. Or you don’t connect at all. Case closed.

Now those two types of connection—intellectual and emotional—are not created equal. An intellectual connection can be very rewarding, but creating an emotional connection has far greater potential. How people feel about who you are is much more significant than what they think about anything you say. Furthermore, the single biggest factor in how people respond to you on an emotional level is nothing other than your own voice.

Why is that true? It’s because your voice has a very direct physical effect on your listeners. They can feel the vibration in a way that’s much more tangible than anything they see.

Consequently, what they feel can very quickly cause them to tune out or tune in. An irritating voice can literally stimulate a fight or flight response in another person.

And there’s much more your voice can do. Do you sound smart or not so smart? Are you educated or ignorant? Are you friendly or hostile? All these traits are instantly recognizable in your voice.

Here’s the bottom line. You should pay very close attention to how your voice affects other people, and you should do everything you can to make the most of that effect. The good news is, there’s a lot you can do. The even better news is, most of it is very simple once you commit yourself to the high level of voice competence that I call “Perfect Pitch.”