Your Inner CEO: "I put a spell on me."

Thinking in new ways about yourself is a powerful tool for building self confidence. The same tool can be applied to how you think about other people. When you look around, you may think see nothing but super-confident, totally fearless individuals. 

But you can be certain that those same people have had plenty of uncertain moments. You just don’t see them right now. And don’t assume that everyone else can see your own stresses and anxieties. That’s what psychologists call “magical thinking.”

Magical thinking has nothing to do with reality, and it’s a major barrier to becoming the kind of person you want to be. So don't let yourself make magical statements about yourself or other people. 

If you feel this starting to happen, calmly say to yourself, "Hold on a minute, how do I know that's true?" If you can come up with some evidence that disproves the magical statement, that's even better. It may take a bit of effort at first, but the impact on your self-confidence will be huge.

True confidence isn't just about thinking well of yourself. It’s also about not thinking badly about yourself or anyone else. Stop thinking "Why did that happen?" or "Why do I feel this way?" and start thinking "How would I like to feel?" or "When do I feel confident?" or, "What can I do now to feel better in this situation?"

Stick with it and don't expect everything at once. Building self- confidence is a process -- and if it seems like a very long process from where you are now, that just proves how important it is to get underway.