A recent Wall Street Journal blog gives us another thing to be paranoid
about as we try to stand out in the workplace. With the proliferation of social
media interactions and videoconferencing (a strategy that is going to grow 47
percent a year for the next three years, according to the WSJ), likeability is becoming a huge factor in
who does well at work and who generates the most revenue for their company.
Oh, great. So now it isn’t
enough that we are strong performers and get the job done. Now everybody has to
like us? What sort of cruel trick is the universe playing? I thought all we had
to do was get results, even if it meant being a bit unlikable in the process.
Dang. I was just getting comfortable swimming with sharks. Now I have to bike
with Barney.
At least we have another thing
to blame computers for. Before there was email with emoticons to indicate when
we are only joking (after ripping somebody a new one), and social networking
with one’s phalanx of “friends” -- before all that it was important to be nice
back then, too. But making sure the whole room likes you, well, that seems
pretty 21st Century.
But, fear not. The WSJ piece
informs us that we can be taught how to be likable. An outfit called Decker
Communications takes a variety of business clients through training sessions on
increasing their likeability in the virtual world.
Here are some of the techniques
they suggest for gaining an edge in your next Skype session:
Listen,
and leave a gap for others to speak: Apparently, there is a
tendency when video conferencing to adapt the rhythms of in-person
conversation, wherein people sometimes get excited and talk over each other. In
the world of video, this is known as interrupting. Of course, completing your sentence and
leaving a gap while waiting for a response is known as awkward silence.
Be
genuine: Researchers say that the premier aspect of a person’s likeability
is being comfortable with themselves. As Tim Sanders, author of The Likeability Factor explains,
overacting is a common problem when people are placed in front of a camera.
“It’s easy to go Ryan Seacrest,” he says. But wait: going all Ryan Seacrest has
made Ryan Seacrest a multi-millionaire, and he makes it look pretty genuine.
Show
interest and make eye contact: I may be old school, but on a
video conference it seems we’re making eye contact with a tiny orb mounted on a
computer screen. It will take me a while to start seeing that as looking another
the person in the eye. But I’m willing to give it a try because, darn it, I
want that sucker to like me.
Vary
your tones and expressions: Again, the camera tends to create
monotone. We have all seen this, not only in ourselves, but in our local news
anchors.
Mimic
the expressions and posture of the person you are talking to. This
technique creates empathy, according to researchers. I suspect it also creates
the impression that the videoconference could break out into a Lucille Ball
mirror routine at any moment. But maybe that’s
part of the fun.
Kidding aside, these are good
tips to employ as we enter a new age of connectivity via our desktops and
tablets. But can likeability be taught? Well, I’d like to think so….
Here’s a link to the WSJ piece:
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