Perfect Pitch: You Are What You Hear

To say that the invention of the voice recorder had a major impact on voice training is like saying that the wheel had a major impact on human civilization. The ability to record your own voice is obviously a revolutionary development! But have you ever used a recorder in an analytical way, as a tool for learning? Probably not.

But why not? Here’s one possibility: most people dislike listening to their own voices. But that’s not all. They often dislike it so much that they deny it’s really them. “It doesn’t sound like me,” is certainly the most frequently heard comment from people who have just listened to a recording of themselves. And this is usually followed by a more tentative, worried continuation: “Is that really how I sound?”

Well, yes it is how you sound. The machine doesn’t lie. Don’t blame the machine. Instead, learn how to use the voice recorder and other similar technologies as powerful, indispensable tools for developing Perfect Pitch.

Here’s how to get started. First, read the list of vocal characteristics below. You may want to elaborate on the brief descriptions of each category, or you may think of some new ones that you want to add. Then, whenever you have some free time over the next week or so, go online to YouTube or other video sites and just listen to people talk.

Try to draw from a wide variety of speakers. Choose some who are prominent and well-known to you, and others who are “just plain folks.” Use the voice adjectives from this blog post to categorize the speakers that you hear – and if none of the adjectives seem to fit, and new ones to describe a particular speaker. Listen to as many different voices as you can. You’ll find it very enlightening.

As you go about this, there’s one very important rule you should follow. When you first listen to a new voice, don’t watch the video image of the speaker. Just listen to what’s being said or, more importantly, how it’s being said. Later, when you video as well as listen to it, you can explore how sight and sound combine to create and overall impression. But for the present we’re only concerned with what you hear. In a future post we’ll see how you can evaluate your own voice using this method.

Here’s the preliminary list of voice adjectives. Again, feel free to add new adjectives or to expand the brief descriptions of these:

Adenoidal – You voice sounds like it’s coming through your nose.

Breathy – You sound like Marilyn Monroe singing “Happy Birthday, Mister President.” If you haven’t heard this, Google it!

Brittle -- you sound uncertain and shaky, as if you might cry

Croaky -- A low and coarse voice as if you’ve had too many drinks over the years, but still want another.

Flat – a monotone, without any variation from loud or soft or fast to slow.

Grating – your voice seems willfully aggressive and unpleasant, like a bill collector.

Gruff  – similar to croaky but with more of a positive feel, like a wised-up old cowboy.

Guttural – a deep voice that seems to originate at the back of your throat. You sound like your native language is Russian.

High-pitched – it’s hard to seem very confident with a high-pitched voice, although Mike Tyson did it for a while.

 Honeyed – once again, watch Marilyn Monroe singing “Happy Birthday, Mister President.” But a “honeyed” speaking voice can sound false and untrustworthy.

Low – a low voice can sound authoritative (like Henry Kissinger) but may also be difficult to hear.

Modulated – a voice that makes use of different tones and cadences. The opposite of flat or monotonous.

Orotund – Strong and clear. Think of James Earl Jones.

Raucous – loud and rough but in an immature way, like trying to be heard at a frat party.

Shrill – high and unpleasant, like a chattering squirrel

Silvery – beautiful in a feminine way, like an angel.

Smoky – feminine and sexy, like Mrs. Robinson after a cigarette.

Stentorian – similar to orotund in loudness, but more severe. Good for making proclamations.

Taut – a nervous and potentially angry voice. It sounds like you have something to hide.

Tremulous – unsteady, as if you’re afraid or excited

Wheezy – the voice of someone who has difficulty breathing

 Have I missed any? Let me know!

Perfect Pitch: They Like You! They Really, Really Like You!

A recent Wall Street Journal blog gives us another thing to be paranoid about as we try to stand out in the workplace. With the proliferation of social media interactions and videoconferencing (a strategy that is going to grow 47 percent a year for the next three years, according to the WSJ), likeability is becoming a huge factor in who does well at work and who generates the most revenue for their company.

Oh, great. So now it isn’t enough that we are strong performers and get the job done. Now everybody has to like us? What sort of cruel trick is the universe playing? I thought all we had to do was get results, even if it meant being a bit unlikable in the process. Dang. I was just getting comfortable swimming with sharks. Now I have to bike with Barney.

At least we have another thing to blame computers for. Before there was email with emoticons to indicate when we are only joking (after ripping somebody a new one), and social networking with one’s phalanx of “friends” -- before all that it was important to be nice back then, too. But making sure the whole room likes you, well, that seems pretty 21^st Century. 

But, fear not. The WSJ piece informs us that we can be taught how to be likable. An outfit called Decker Communications takes a variety of business clients through training sessions on increasing their likeability in the virtual world.

Here are some of the techniques they suggest for gaining an edge in your next Skype session:

Listen, and leave a gap for others to speak: Apparently, there is a tendency when video conferencing to adapt the rhythms of in-person conversation, wherein people sometimes get excited and talk over each other. In the world of video, this is known as interrupting.  Of course, completing your sentence and leaving a gap while waiting for a response is known as awkward silence.

Be genuine: Researchers say that the premier aspect of a person’s likeability is being comfortable with themselves. As Tim Sanders, author of The Likeability Factor explains, overacting is a common problem when people are placed in front of a camera. “It’s easy to go Ryan Seacrest,” he says. But wait: going all Ryan Seacrest has made Ryan Seacrest a multi-millionaire, and he makes it look pretty genuine.

Show interest and make eye contact: I may be old school, but on a video conference it seems we’re making eye contact with a tiny orb mounted on a computer screen. It will take me a while to start seeing that as looking another the person in the eye. But I’m willing to give it a try because, darn it, I want that sucker to like me.

Vary your tones and expressions: Again, the camera tends to create monotone. We have all seen this, not only in ourselves, but in our local news anchors. 

Mimic the expressions and posture of the person you are talking to. This technique creates empathy, according to researchers. I suspect it also creates the impression that the videoconference could break out into a Lucille Ball mirror routine at any moment.  But maybe that’s part of the fun.

Kidding aside, these are good tips to employ as we enter a new age of connectivity via our desktops and tablets. But can likeability be taught? Well, I’d like to think so….

Here’s a link to the WSJ piece:

(http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303725404579461351615271292 )

Snap Judgment: Predicitve Intelligence

Predictive intelligence is the ability to “see” the outcome (for better or worse) of various decisions and judgments. The business writer Eileen Shapiro, who introduced the concept of predictive intelligence, originally used the term in the context of corporate leadership and investment management. It can also have a much wider application – but as the decision-making environment grows larger, so does the volume of information and the number of possible outcomes. Having a vast amount of information is good, of course -- but here as elsewhere in life, it’s possible to have too much of a good thing.

Today, with online access to virtually unlimited data, quality of information is more important than quantity. But, like finding a needle in a haystack, identifying quality information can take time, and in many situations time is simply not available. That’s when “snap judgments” have to be made.

Making those judgments can be very uncomfortable for people whose primary skill is sifting through large amounts of data. They can be tempted to delay decisions while studying the data – or even to wait for more data until an absolutely perfect, incontrovertible judgment can finally be made.

But perfection should not be the goal. In fact, perfection can’t be the goal in time-sensitive situations. When a snap judgment is called for, you’ve got to erase the concept of “great” from your mind. Now there’s only “good enough” – and good enough is, well, good enough.

Once a good enough snap judgment has been made, the concept of predictive intelligence needs to blend with what the psychologist Daniel Goleman calls emotional intelligence. This has been defined as “the ability to monitor your own feelings and those of other people; to correctly identify emotions and to act accordingly, using emotions as sources of information to guide thinking and behavior.”

In other words, if you’re angry at someone, you know you’re angry and you don’t delude yourself into passive aggressive behavior. If you have a setback in your career or your personal life, you neither ignore it nor do you see it as the end of the world. You know what you’re feeling and you take those feelings for what they’re worth, not less and not more.

So let’s assume that you understand both predictive and emotional intelligence. With the tools that were available, you’ve made the best possible decision. It may not turn out perfectly, but there’s a fighting chance that it will be good enough. And you still have work to do. You’ve made your judgment, and now you need to live with your judgment. You need emotional intelligence to not second guess yourself. You need maturity to follow through on the decision you’ve made. Through your own actions, you create and inhabit the outcome you predicted.

Wayne Gretzky may have been the greatest hockey player of all time -- but if you were deciding whether to sign him up early in his career, the judgment might not have been as easy as you think. The “data” on Gretzky – his speed, his strength, his size – was good but not great. He wasn’t really tops at anything. Maybe you would have waited for more data. Maybe you would want to put him through some more drills. But what if another team was eager to sign him? Would you let him get away because his talent wasn’t sufficiently documented? Would you do that in order to cover your ass for your boss? Or would you realize that certain kinds of talent can’t be quantified with a stopwatch or a scale.

As Gretzky himself has put it, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Every judgment is a risk, and risks can be scary. You will never have a chance for your predictive and your emotional intelligence to operate if avoiding risk is your primary objective.

Snap Judgment: What Do You Want?

Whether you have five minutes to make a decision or five months, finding the best “answer” is impossible if your core values haven’t already been found. If you don’t know where you want to go, you’ll never get there. On the other hand, many people are content with knowing what they don’t want. "I don't know what I want,” they might say, “but this isn't it." But this is much too easy, much too negative, and a very weak foundation for judgments and decisions.

The psychology of desire all too often is the psychology of fear. People avoid making decisions in the direction of what they want because they’re afraid of not getting it. The truth is, however, that knowing what you want is the first all-important decision you have to make. Furthermore, knowing what you don’t want isn’t good enough. Failure avoidance isn’t something people should really aspire to. At the end of your life, it won’t be much solace to say, “Well, at least I didn’t make any expensive mistakes. Look at my checking account!”

Clarity of desire doesn’t come easily. If it did, making judgments would be much easier. As the sociologist Eric Hoffer once observed, most people are content to simply imitate other people. But imitation doesn’t bring us closer to our true desires – assuming, of course, that we’ve committed ourselves to learning what those desires really are. Have you decided to make that commitment? If not, you may as well stop reading right now.

The Declaration of Independence states that everyone has the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” It’s interesting to note that the original meaning of that last part was quite different from how we understand it today. Originally “pursuit of happiness” meant that nobody had to become an indentured servant. You could undertake whatever work made you happy. “Pursuit” meant “career,” – as in, “he pursued a career in medicine.” And “of happiness” meant “what made you happy, as in, “medicine was his career of choice.”

Today that narrow construction of “the pursuit of happiness” is long out of date. To us, it means we can have sex with anybody we want. We can smoke whatever we want. We can watch television all day. Yes, it’s all up to us – which is both the blessing and the curse. Because in order to do whatever we want, we actually need to decide what we want to do.

As someone once said, "You can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want." Decide on your real priorities, so they get the attention they deserve in the presence of so many competing distractions. Once you are clear what you really want the most, making progress is a matter of forming clear goals and taking decisive action toward them. There will be lots of judgments and decisions to be made along the way, and most of them will be about deciding to let go of intervening distractions. This process is essential to making accurate judgments and decision. In fact, the Latin root of the word “decide” is from “cedere,” which means “to cut off.”

“To thine own self be true,” said Shakespeare’s Polonius in the first act of Hamlet. Of course, Polonius is pompous, pretentious, not too bright, and perhaps even a little conniving and sinister. But was he onto something there? You be the judge!

Your Inner CEO: Excuse Me, But Your Brain Is Swarming

The phenomenon of “brainswarming” is taking hold in the business world. Old-fashioned brainstorming (each person tosses out an idea, it’s discussed, and the process repeats) is too prone to difficulty. Extroverted personalities, for example, can more easily hold sway in a brainstorming scenario, suppressing contributions from less vocal team members. As an extrovert, of course, I had no problem with the old paradigm. I could foist my egomaniacal, Machiavellian schemes onto all the people I planned to chew up and spit out as I stepped over them on the ladder to my well-deserved dictatorship. 

Okay, maybe I’ve said too much….

But another perceived pitfall of conventional brainstorming is its essentially verbal nature. Brainswarming involves a more free-form, egalitarian approach to idea generation that de-emphasizes formal conversation. There again, I am perfectly happy with the former paradigm. I am a highly verbal person and I like to use voice and wordplay to make my points. Under the new rules of brainswarming, I would not be able to assert my verbal dominance, crushing dissenting opinion with a barrage of incredibly cogent, inarguable viewpoints that leave dissenters a puddle of incoherence on the floor, thereby assuring that my vision of the company’s future is the one management should go with. 

Okay, maybe I've said too much....  

My own shortcoming aside, brainswarming is a more inclusive approach to generating new concepts in the workplace. It’s free-form and encourages everybody to dive in, contribute, and raise questions. The interaction is more like an art class than a bunch of people sitting around a conference table waiting to say something meaningful while surreptitiously flipping up the top of the donut box to see if there are any éclairs left.  By introducing an element of play, everybody feels part of the decision making process. Ideas flow from making connections, and conclusions are drawn from a variety of sources, not just the loudest or cleverest ones. 

As specific problems are presented, and the top-down thinkers attack it one way, while the bottom-up thinkers attack it another, and the workable solution usually appears somewhere in the middle. It certainly seems more efficient than asking, “What does everybody think?” in a crowded room and letting the resulting confusion carry the day.  

So here’s to brainswarming. May it lead to a more solution-oriented workplace grounded in the mutual needs and concerns of the entire staff -- even if it means that those of us who used to enjoy foisting our wills upon our colleagues with a mind-boggling barrage of circular reasoning and a big, booming voice are left in the dust. 

Okay, maybe I’ve said too much. Again...

  

Your Inner CEO: Executive Stress

For any CEO, stress comes in different shapes and sizes, and from many different directions. For you as the CEO of your Inner Corporation, stress can still have many different looks – but it always originates within yourself.

Sometimes a big problem seems to suddenly materialize out of thin air. Other times a series of relatively small annoyances can begin to wear you down. While a major crisis can certainly be difficult, I think chronic, long-term stress is more dangerous – mostly because you can get used to it.

You’ve probably heard how a frog can get boiled in water that only very gradually rises in temperature. Here’s the good news: in real life frogs actually jump out. Here’s the bad news: people will “overheat” to high levels of chronic stress in their careers and in their personal lives. The results can be painful, physically, emotionally, and financially.

An effective CEO knows that handling stress takes strength, but it also requires mature judgment. You have to know when to disconnect from a situation rather than trying to ride it out. Because you might get ridden out instead.

Most people don’t know how to do that. Studies show that workplace stress is the cause of at least a million American worker absences every day. It’s also been estimated that 80% of health care expenses are stress related, with costs rising as drugs and medical treatment become more expensive.

Fortunately, the main causes of stress – or at least work-related stress – are also very well documented:

>> Too much work: Obviously, this is a major cause of stress. But the solution isn’t just reducing the workload. Even simple projects can become stressful if they’re poorly supervised or not clearly explained. An effective manager needs to closely monitor the mechanics and procedures in an organization as well as the volume of the work itself.

>> Too much hassle: Phones, walk-in visits, and unanticipated demands from managers all contribute to increased stress. Managers should be sure that what they expect from team members is absolutely clear, and then give them a stable environment in which to meet those expectations. As an Inner CEO, however, there’s no one higher up who’s going to provide you with a tranquil environment. You’ll have to do that yourself. So create an inventory of your most common annoyances and then see what you can do toward eliminating them. (Caution: if one of them is your spouse, think divorce, not murder.)

>> Anxiety: In an unpredictable economy, the possibility of layoffs or furloughs, or other cutbacks are major sources of stress. You should keep your team informed about situations that might affect their jobs -- and provide reassurance if you can credibly do so. Regarding your own job security, learn to live with the fact that “job security” is an illusion. Make sure you’re prepared for sudden change that would force you to look for a new job. Furthermore, keep your eyes open for new jobs even while you have your present one. You’re a free agent, not a wage slave.

>> No feedback: If someone is not meeting expectations, that should be made clear long before the annual review. As your own CEO, you’re the one who sets goals for yourself, but are you tracking your progress toward your goals in a clear and meaningful way?

>> No appreciation: Failure to show appreciation generates stress. There are many ways to demonstrate appreciation, but for a manager the most effective way is just a sincere recognition of a team member’s positive contribution. But this isn’t something you can expect as an Inner CEO, since you have neither managers nor shareholders. The solution: appreciate yourself. Recognize the extent to which you create your own stress, and how that may be a product of an unconscious need to devalue yourself.  The classic film “It’s a Wonderful Life” is a great resource for this concept. (If you find yourself secretly rooting for Mr. Potter, stress should no longer be a problem. A great future awaits you!)

Perfect Pitch: Is Anyone Listening?

Listening doesn’t come naturally to most people. That’s not surprising, because real listening is more than just healthy functioning of the ears. Listening takes some work, especially when you’re first learning to really listen.

Why is listening so hard? It’s because talking is so much fun! It’s not always easy to listen to other people, but it’s nearly always easy to have them listening to you. But as the CEO of your inner corporation, part of your executive function involves listening effectively to other people. It’s a big part of your job.

For most people, having a conversation is like driving a car on a city street. When the traffic light is red, you have to stop and wait. You’d like to just keep going, but there are many reasons why that’s not a good idea. So you have to just sit there and watch a bunch of creeps whiz by until finally your light turns green and now it’s their turn to watch you.

Conversations follow the same pattern. You and the other guy are supposed to alternate between talking and listening. You might like to do all the talking, but you’ve learned to resist that impulse….haven’t you? If you’re not quite there yet, learning something about listening can be very helpful.

The power of the human voice is my core subject, but listening is as much about silence rather than sound. But even though it’s silent, the experience of listening to someone is never exactly the same. For example, listening to a police officer who has pulled you over in a traffic stop is different from listening to your eight year old daughter or your eighty year old father in law.

Here are some different categories of listening, from the least attentive to the most empathic and beneficial. Which one best describes your current listening style?

 Not really listening at all
You have a dim awareness that someone is talking to you, but that’s about it. You’re one step from totally ignoring the person – which is not to deny that sometimes this minimal is the best choice you have. If someone is giving you a lecture for their own ego satisfaction, maybe you should just physically sit there while mentally taking a vacation to Hawaii. This situation is very common in business settings. For example, a manager may need to hear the complaints of a dissatisfied client, or when there’s a significant disparity between the corporate power of the parties involved.

“I’m listening to you – but it’s really all about me.”
This is probably the most common type of everyday listening. You have some level interest, but you’re mostly waiting for that traffic light to turn green so you can start talking again. The words of the speaker are filtered through your own pre-existing beliefs. You’re ready to tell your own story – which is probably a much better one, right? -- as soon as the slightest opening comes up. Once you become aware of this listening style it’s amazing how often you’ll see it done – whether to you or by you.

Factual listening
‘Just the facts’ is fine when the purpose of the communication is merely to convey what’s happening, but it’s inadequate for dealing with feelings and motives – which is often the reason why people want to speak with each other in the first place. This kind of listening can win a battle and lose a war. It can be an effective short term tactic with specific people or situations, but not a good strategy with long-term clients or employees. .

Inclusive listening
This is getting closer to the goal. You are attentive to words, intonations, body language, and facial expressions. You have overall recognition of how the other person is feeling, as well as comprehension of what is being said. You’re able to see, hear, and feel someone else’s point of view. You are frank and honest in expressing disagreement while also striving for genuine understanding.

Optimal Listening
This is inclusive plus, an action-oriented component. You listen to what’s being said, and this leads you to suggest ideas for positive action on the part of the speaker. It doesn’t lead you to start talking about yourself, although you offer to take action on behalf of the speaker. This doesn’t mean you’re making decisions for the other person. It’s just that optimal listening contains a strong element of helping someone understand their options. More than any of the other levels, optimal listening puts the other person's interests first.

As someone once said, “Those who have ears, let them hear.” Words of wisdom!

Perfect Pitch: How Does a Word Mean?

How do we know what a word means? In many languages around the world, words can have entirely different meanings based on how the words are spoken -- including variables such as the stress on the word"s syllables and the tone of the pronunciation. If you happen to be speaking the Nuka language, for example, you may intend to say, "You look beautiful." But if your tone of voice is incorrect, what you're heard to say could be, "You look like the aircraft carrier USS Gerald R. Ford." Your whole evening could be ruined!

You may not think English is a language like Nuka, but to a surprising degree it is.  Believe it or not, the meaning of any English sentence does not only depend on the words with which the sentence is made. The stress placed on the words, much more than their dictionary definition, is the real source of what the sentence means. It’s easy to prove this. Just pick any sentence and repeat it several times, each time emphasizing different words. You’ll see the meaning radically change. 

For example, read the sentence below out loud. As you read it, make sure you don’t give extra stress to any of the words. Just keep your voice perfectly flat.

I have succeeded in whatever I started because I willed it. I never hesitated, which gave me an advantage over the rest of mankind.

Because none of the words were emphasized, the passions and viewpoint of the speaker weren’t really communicated.

Now read it again, this time emphasizing key words.

I have SUCCEEDED in whatever I started because I WILLED it. I NEVER hesitated, which gave me an advantage over the rest of mankind.

Notice how stressing the word “succeeded” dramatizes the sentence. It suggests there was a looming risk of failure. Emphasizing “willed” conjures up all the obstacles you overcame by strength of character alone. Putting stress on “never” references a struggle against hesitation and doubt. It even implies that the struggle may still be going on: if it weren’t, why would there be such energy placed on the word “never”?

If you know what you intend to say in a specific situation, you can practice variations of emphasis beforehand to get exactly the effect you want. But even if there’s no opportunity for preparation, any variation in emphasis is better than none at all. Monotony is always your worst enemy.

Besides the stress you give to words, you can also vary the pitch of your voice. Stress refers to loudness or softness. Pitch is a quality of tone. In conversation, the pitch of most people’s voices flows from high to low and back again. This is perfectly natural – yet when people are front of an audience, very often their voices dull and monotonous.

There are two principle reasons for this. First, the average person is tense or even frightened of any kind of public speaking. And this tends to flatten delivery. Second, they don’t even know that this is happening. So as with other elements of Perfect Pitch, the solution is to put yourself in conscious control of your voice rather than just letting it happen.

When you lapse into a monotonous pitch your voice may be high or low, but it will usually be one extreme or the other, and it will always be unvarying. If you’re paying attention to what voice is doing, you’ll be able to notice this happening. Remind yourself that this isn’t how you want to sound. Make a conscious decision to adjust your voice so that it sounds like who you really are.

The speed with which you talk is another important variable in how you’re understood. In corporate boardrooms of congressional hearings, for example, someone might say “ten million dollars” very fast, as it were an insignificant amount of money. But if someone says, “You stand to win tannin millllionnnn dollllarrrsss,” extending each syllable, it really sounds like a lot of money. The actual words may be virtually the same, but the message is very different.